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Info & Resources

The big lesson in life, is never be scared of anyone or anything.

Escaping Domestic Violence

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Learn about how common domestic violence is, examples of tactics that abusers use to keep survivors in the relationship, and how domestic violence impacts a survivor’s health.  It's more common than you think.

 

Help is available, you are not alone

What is Domestic Violence?

Domestic violence is a pattern of abusive behavior that one partner uses to gain or maintain power and control over another intimate partner. Domestic violence is not limited to physical violence and can take many forms.

 

Examples of abusive behaviour include:

  • physical

  • sexual

  • emotional

  • economic

  • psychological

  • technological

  • and more.

Domestic violence does not discriminate. It impacts people across all genders, sexual orientations, socioeconomic levels, cultures, and religions. It can occur in LGBTQ relationships or heterosexual ones

9 WARNING SIGNS OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE

While no relationship is perfect, it is crucial to know how to identify abuse. Domestic Violence can take many forms and builds over time. Below are 9 warning signs of domestic violence.

1. Damaging your self-confidence and self-worth.

Some examples include telling you that you never do anything right and laughing at you. Abusers may even insult, demean, or shame you in front of other people. Often targeting your vulnerabilities, abusers may ridicule your personal or cultural values or your parenting approach.

2. Showing excessive jealousy and possessiveness.

Abusers will be jealous of your relationship with your family, friends, peers, or child.

3. Restricting Relationships.
Abusers will prevent or discourage you from spending time with your family and friends. Some abusers may deny access to spiritual traditions or events.

4. Making and breaking promises constantly.

Abusers may make false promises to control you and manipulate the situation.

5. Controlling household finances without your input.

Financial exploitation can include taking your money or refusing to provide money for necessities. Abusers may prevent you from making your own decisions about working or attending school.

6. Won’t take “No” for an answer.

Often abusive relationships will have an unequal balance of power, which may look like abusers getting angry whenever you voice your opinion or express concerns. Some abusers may pressure you to participate in sexual activity you are not comfortable with. Other abusers may pressure you to use drugs or alcohol.

7. Destructive Temper.

Abusers may have a temper that escalates quickly. They may destroy your belongings or your home.

8. Intimidating you using fear and threats.
Abusers often use fear and threats to control you, often saying they will spread rumours about you, take away your children or pets, or physically harm you or a family member.

Some use threatening looks or actions or intimidate you with weapons like guns, knives, bats, or mace.

9. Resorting to Physical Harm.
It is never acceptable for someone to slap, punch, choke, grab, spit on, or kick you. This is abuse.

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Why Stay?

Survivors stay in abusive relationships for many reasons. Fear and the inability to find another safe place to stay can be factors. The Power and Control Wheel diagram shows tactics abusive partners use to maintain power and control over survivors.

  • Economic Abuse – one of the most common

    • Preventing the survivor from getting or keeping a job

    • Preventing the survivor from accessing income or joint assets

    • Using survivor’s credit without their permission

    • Withholding the survivor’s own money

    • Making the survivor have to ask for money or giving an allowance

 

  • Threats and Coercion

    • Threats of harm or suicide

    • Coercing the survivor into doing something illegal or to drop charges

 

  • Intimidation

    • Smashing items, destroying property, showing weapons

    • Using looks and gestures to cause fear

 

  • Emotional Abuse

    • Putting the survivor down, name calling, crazymaking, mind games, humiliation, making the survivor feel guilty

 

  • Isolation

    • Controlling who the survivor communicates with and visits

    • Using jealousy to justify actions

 

  • Children

    • Making the survivor feel guilty about the children

    • Using the children to relay messages

    • Using visitation to harass the survivor

    • Threatening to take the children away

 

  • Minimizing, Denying, and Blaming

    • Making light of the abuse

    • Saying the abuse doesn’t happen

    • Shifting responsibility for the abusive behaviour and/or saying the survivor caused it

 

  • Using Privilege

    • Treating the survivor like a servant

    • Making all the big decisions

    • Being the one to define each other’s roles or duties in the relationship

Escaping Violence Payments

The Escaping Violence Payment Program (EVP) is available to anyone who is experiencing violence from their partners. 

If you are looking to leave a violent partner, or have recently left and are struggling with the finances to live your life in safety, you could be eligible for:

 

Up to $1500 in financial assistance
Goods and services such as removalists, bonds or basics for a new home
Wrap-around support including casework from the EVP provider. If you are already working with a family violence support service, talk to them about what to do next.

To find out if you are eligible or need assistance please head over to the Uniting WA website

Family violence takes a devastating toll on individuals, families and communities and we hope that this program will bring us closer to breaking the cycle of violence. 

Do you need help?  Drop into our Shop 4 A Cause Stores and ask for Michelle or Deb and request an appointment.  

Rockingham  15 Dixon Road Rockingham (next to Containers for Change)


 

Please note this is not a crisis service. If you are in a situation of danger now, please call 000. If you are experiencing family violence and need immediate support or advice, call 1800 RESPECT

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